Is casual encounter better than affair?

Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee/freedigitalphotos.net

Before I even speak a word further, I should make it clear that this post is in no way trying to promote casual encounters over affairs. It’s just my own interpretation and I’m on no account trying to advocate recreational sexual practices like swinging, booty calls, one night stands, open relationships or whatever.  The purpose of writing this post goes hand in hand with the disclaimer policy of the blog.

Recently, I came across an awesome book by Roberto Hogue—Real Secrets of Sex: A Women's Guide on How to Be Good in Bed. The author points out that great sex is all about freedom and being everything you’ve always wanted to be. It’s all about knowing that the only limits you have in regards to your own sexuality are the ones you necessitate on yourself.

While the above lines bear no direct connection with our topic of casual sex, it does insinuate that casual sex is just a matter of our own choice, and as far as we’re getting satisfaction out of it without causing any problems in our life and in that of others, our choice is virtuous.  Like every other thing in this world, having sex outside the context of a romantic relationship has got its own set of advantages and disadvantages.  You may be a single guy/girl with soaring ambition, who feels that getting into a long term affair would spoil your determination, and thereby prefer hookups instead of long term love affiliations; or you may be a committed lover who doesn’t wanna cheat on your partner, and sustain the romantic relationship for a longer period of time. Either way life can be fun!

While there are so many people out there who believe that casual sex could ruin a relationship of 30 years, there’re ample reason not to believe as such. Researchers have shown that friends with benefits, fuck buddies, one-night stands, booty calls and casual sex relationships can eventually help a person make better choices when it comes to entering a long term relationship later in life. 

The problem with casual encounters is the vast amount of complications that can arise in perpetrator’s life. For all the men out there, just because a girl at nightclub has got a sexy booty doesn’t mean you can risk your life by getting hooked up with her. What happens if she appears all nice and cute to you during your first(and probably last) meet, but gets all bitchy on the bed forcing you to try out horrible things you’d never had dreamt of doing before. And what if she has got some dreadful STD that you’d never really want to suffer from! If you’re really into casual encounters, there are lots of precautions to take.

A kind of sex between strangers, the ‘zipless fuck’ as it is called, is said to be a wholesome experience without any ulterior motives attached to it, . There is no power game, and no fear of remorse or guilt. There’s no give and take relationship involved, and no one is trying to prove anything or get anything out of anyone.

The zipless fuck is the purest thing there is. And it is rarer than the unicorn.  It’s a perfect one night stand.(Erica Jong, Fear of Flying )

You may have lots of sexual encounters in life, and if you’re lucky enough they all may be  zipless ones. But don’t forget that one day you’ll have to settle for that special one you’ll be spending your entire life with—the one who will give you nice little kids to play with, be your companion for life long, and stay with you through thick and thin. No matter how exotic the idea of casual encounter may sound, nothing can be more euphoric than being in relationship.

So enjoy as much causality as you wish, but don’t let yourself die without knowing the wonder of fucking with love!